Thursday, September 27, 2012

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Today my baby turns 1!  1!!!  I can't believe that this is day is here.  It gives me mixed feelings of happiness and a little sadness.  Sad that this year has gone by so quickly, but very happy to see who she is- her personality and it gives me a little glimpse into who she will grow to be!  Emersyn is a complicated character, fiesty yet sensitive, tough yet very tender.  She has every member of this family wrapped around her little finger, especially her big brothers!  She is not afraid to "fuss" at them and let them know what she thinks!  I worry about this when she actually uses real words!

I realized a few weeks ago that I never shared E's birth story and I don't want her to think that I left her out!  Her story is a lot like Braden and Parker's birth story- slow and long, but with a fast and grand debut!

If I were to be completely honest, I would honestly say that I checked into the hospital very tired and very worried about being a mom of three.  After a very rough year I was still feeling anxious about having our little surprise.  It didn't help matters when 4 weeks before my due date my OBGYN's office announced that they were closing the week of my due date!  I absolutely did NOT want to be induced this time around since it had proved to be VERY long labors with the boys.  I had several options- 1) pray that I would go into labor naturally before my due date 2)go ahead and move to another doctor's office and have a stranger deliver my baby or 3) be induced during my midwife's last week so that she could deliver me.  After LOTS of prayer, discussions with Brad and a few good friends we decided to go with option 3, since option 1 wasn't happening! 

My amazing midwife, Lisa, scheduled for us to enter check in the birthing center at 7:00, Monday September 26.  My amazing friend Krysti came to stay with the boys for the night and Brad and I went for our usual pre delivery dinner at Olive Garden (complete with Lemon cake).  As we were leaving the restaurant to head to the hospital I received a call from the registration hospital saying that they were full and I may not be able to check in that night.  What?!?  I was seriously in melt down mode.  I had already kissed my baby boys good bye, turned in my lesson plans and told my school babies that I wouldn't see them for six weeks and I WAS checking into the hospital to deliver this baby!  I called my midwife and she said that she would check on it for me.  Brad and I headed to my parents' house to wait on word about what to do next.  A little afte we arrived at my parents' house we got another call from the hospital telling us to come in a 10:00. 

We finally got checked in and received the ONLY room left- the triage room.  I had been in there when my water broke with Parker so I was familiar with it.  It wasn't one of the nice, big rooms like we had with the boys, but I was just happy to have a place at the inn!  After getting bloodwork, a port set up (only one pinch this time) and all of the paperwoork filled out they set me up with cervidel.  I was already dilated to a 2 at check in, so we were praying that since this was my third delivery it would progress much faster than with the boys.  Just like with the boys the second the cervidel was inserted (cytotec with Parker) I began having contractions.  They weren't bad and in fact I welcomed this because after two deliveries I knew no pian, no gain and I just wanted to get it over with!

I slept off an on all night, but was wide awake by 6:00 am.  My poor hubby and mom had a horrble night sleeping and I was trying to not wake them up.  Around 7:30 I was able to get breakfast and a bath.  My dad picked the boys up early from our house so Krysti could got to work and took them to our friends Andy and Cassie's house to play for the day.  Lisa, my midwife, arrived to check on me around 8:30 and we were praying that I had dilated.  I knew not to expect much because my body always seems to let me down in this department and that was the case this time as well.  When she checked me I was still a 2, but she wanted to try to break my water and get me set up on the pit.  I was anxious for her to break my water and get the show on the road.  We were so happy that she was actually able to break my water and they hooked me up to the pit.  My contractions were consistent, but not very painful, so I was able to move around and use the ball for a while.  The rest of the day was mostly just waiting and turning up pit and waiting and increasing the pit and waiting.  My nurses would ask me my pain level and I knew that it was low because after giving birth without an epidural I knew that it would only get worse!  The most I dilated to was a 3 by shift change at 7:30 that night. 

Lisa left around 5:30 and said that she would be back later that evening.  She stayed in contact with my nurses and by 7:00 they had increased the pit to 25.  The nurses informed that with a normal delivery the max pitocin was a 20, but my body was slow to react and I have a high tolerance for pain.  Going into my delivery I knew that I wouldn't ask for an epidural, after giving birth without one twice I knew that I would be able to do it again, plus being the control freak that I am I liked that it gave me more control over my body.  I also knew that I did not want to be put on Nubain like I was with Parker because it made me feel loopy.  By 8:00 my I was in a decent amount of pain and my contractions were coming one on top of the other thanks to the pit.  By 8:30 Brad talked me into getting something for the pain and by 8:45 the nurses had administered the drug.  Lisa arrived around that same time.  After about 20 minutes on whatever they gave me I asked them to pull it from my port because I had the same loopy feeling.  The next hour I remember lots of intense pain and lots of shaking and chilling.  I remember hearing Lisa saying that she thought that I was ready to push and I remember feeling my body feel the need to push, but my mind refusing.  I remembered the ring of fire from my past deliveries and I wasn't ready to do that again.  My body took over and she was on her way out.  I could hear my mom and Brad telling me that she was almost here and as she was beginning to crown my mom tried to encourage me by saying that you could see all of her dark hair.  I vividly remember refusing to push again even though my body was calling to do it.  Finally at 10:13 pm,  I was mentally ready to push and it was the WORST pain.  This tiny little 7lb 0oz baby was more painful to deliver than both of her bigger brothers!

But the moment they laid her on my chest I felt relief and peace and a love that I hadn't felt in the last year.  She was my reminder from God that he is bigger than anything that I could do.  His plans are far better than my plans and his love is far greater than my love could ever be.  Through Emersyn, God began to heal my hurt and my worry and my fear.  I knew that she was our promise from Him that He will carry us through any trial.  This past year with our littlest blessing and has been a year filled with an abundance of love for this little baby that we didn't know we needed so badly.  With her first little cry she grabbed our hearts and never let go.  I am so honored to receive this gift.  Happy 1st Birthday Emersyn Rose!  We love you so very much!

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