For You created my inmost being,
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths on the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
I am amazed by God and the job that he has given me. It is a huge job. Much bigger than I ever expected it to be. Somedays I am overwhelmed with my job. It is the type of job that can make the most confident person doubt their abilities. Most days I question if I am doing a good job....if I am doing enough...if I am doing it right. But everyday I am rewarded. And thankful. I am so happy to be a mom. And I have to admit that today is the first day that I have thought of myself as a mom of 2!
If you know me well then you probably know that our newest blessing was quite the surprise. I am a control freak which I openly admit and MY plan was not to get pregnant until July or August which would give us a nice due date somewhere in April or May. However, I have been very humbled by our little December addition. Each time that I found out I was expecting I have been overcome with excitement, fear, worry. This time my worry has not just been about me or this unborn child that I am carrying, but also about Braden and how this child will come along and completely rock his very solid little world. Is this fair to him? And then I know the answer because I can't imagine a world without my little brother and I know that I am far more blessed to have shared these last 24 years with him then I was the 3 before he arrived.
I am amazed when I think of this baby that is really just a mass of cells growing in to a beautiful baby and then I look at my amazing 2 year old and I realize how amazing creation truly is. How awesome is our God that he can take nothing and create this person with likes and dislikes, opinions, features that may or may not look like me. WOW!
I am amazed this Mother's Day with my two fabulous blessings. One that I know very well, who is opinionated, stubborn, strong willed, loving, loud, sweet, and very persistent. One that has ticklish feet like his daddy and sings just like his mommy (bless his heart). One that is curious and loves to explore, especially ant beds. One who loves aggravating the dog and playing outside. One who asks a million and one questions even if he doesn't want the answer. One who melts my heart when he says "I love you, Momma." And one whom I have never met. One whom I don't even know the gender yet. One who was a surprise and may surprise me again if it decides to come on Christmas (please no!). One whom I am eager to hear the heartbeat, feel the kicks, and meet. One whom I love already though we have never met.
Thank you Father for my blessings and for giving me a love for both of my babies and an acceptance of your perfect timing and will that are so very different from my own. I pray that I can be a mother who teaches my children about your gracious love and a mother who leads by your example and calls on your wisdom during the times when I am at a loss. Thank you for giving me a day to celebrate how special and important being a mom truly is.